Slow burns, Soulmates, and the Stars
a recipe for finding the love(s) of your life
I have always been a slow-burn kind of girl. I like my romances intense and intimate, where a touch feels like the spark that builds into a forest fire. I like when things develop because I’ve learned from my deeply beautiful friendships that connection takes time.
I do not think I am an easy person to love. I tend to be intense and manic, I’m also a little petty and prideful which can be off-putting for some. It probably doesn’t help that I am terribly picky with the people I do love. Some of my friends would disagree with this statement, I’ve been told I’ve given my love too easily, but I think I only ever give my love to people who has chosen to love me despite of my flaws. This may sound self deprecating but all of my relationships had to go through its exhaustive seedling stage. My soul people mirror me in that sense, we take our sweet time.
My college best friend and I did not get close until after 2 years of being casual friends. We spoke during group hangouts and dinners, we were amicable and sweet on each other. It took a break up on her side and a breakdown on mine for us to start having coffee dates. These turned into breakfast dates, which turned into late-night walks, turned into a deeply intimate friendship of shared respect and love.
Another friend of mine was a girl I was classmates with for years in grade school. We never really spoke then but we met again when we were 16—just little freshmen in college, wide-eyed and terrified of the big new university. We found and sought comfort in familiar faces. She was the warmth that saved me from jumping off multiple ledges. Our friendship now lies in cheering on each other from afar but knowing that should we ever be in the same place we will have space for one another.
One of my recent favorite friendships is a girl I met on TikTok, of all places, in 2020. We had only ever spoken online about books and other shared interests until mid-2023 when we decided to have coffee. It took us about a year to actually have availability to meet, but when we finally did I remember going home thinking to myself that I’d like to keep hanging out. She has since become a constant in my life, an intensely beautiful soul connection.
I have so much more in my back pocket, stories about my soul people and how all our bonds were forged through time and growth. Relationships are not always about clicking immediately, sometimes it takes time to develop, a slow burn of sorts. When the stars align, a person you’ve interacted with in passing can become one of your favorite people. Just because it isn’t kismet does not make it less guided by fate, just because the connection wasn’t instant does not lessen the fact that these are my soul people.
In the journey of finding my soulmates (because of course, you can have as many as you can), I have learned a couple of things:
The more I am me, the more I find the people who make my soul sing.
You can never be sure who will become important to you, a lot of it is based on timing.
Pursuing friends the same way you pursue romantic entanglements can lead to soul-bonding friendships.
If you like who you are around them, those are the right people.
Have fun with it. Love, however fleeting still matters.
If you have found your soul people, I hope you let them know.
To finding the loves of our lives,
Dhan xx
“The more I am me, the more I find the people who make my soul sing.” Wow! This is the vibe I’m carrying into my March. Thank you for being you, Dhan!